You are experiencing major league Geometric Disaster, and though still in denial, you have hit rock bottom. We in 'The Program' have heard your plea and know that your only hope is the A. A. (Authorized Assistance) Three-Step Program. First, you must be willing to admit your problem. So, repeat after me...
"Hi, My name is Golf C., and I am a G.O.L.F.-a-holic."
And the Forum responds in unison: "Hi, Golf C.!"
Now that you have publicly admitted your problem and sought the help of recovering others, let us begin.
We in The Program know that you are powerless over Club and Ball. That does not make you a bad person, nor is it a sign of character weakness. It is simply a condition that affects a certain percentage of society and is often genetic. Ask yourself: "Were either of my parents a Golfer? Were both? How about their parents? Were any of them powerless? Were -- God forbid -- all of them powerless?" It is important that you face the cold hard facts concerning your condition.
But it is not enough to know your weakness. No! You must have a Plan to conquer it One Day At A Time! "Just for today," you must repeat, "I will not touch a Club. Just for today, I will not hit at a Ball. Just for today, I will admit that I am a powerless hacker with no control over either!"
You see, Golf C., we in The Program know that your only hope is to completely abstain from both Club and Ball for a lengthy period. But willpower is not enough in these early stages of Recovery. You must remove all temptation! Store your Clubs and Balls in a closet or in the basement. Better yet, have a friend take them to an unknown location and make him swear he will not reveal it until your recovery is well underway. When this has been done, go to the hardware store and buy a wooden dowel 48" long and 1/4" in diameter. It will cost approximately $2.10, a small price to pay for Recovery.
Dowel in hand, open The Yellow Book Of A. A. to page 226. Here you will find Step One in Homer K.'s Proven Plan For Recovery -- the Basic Motion of 12-5-1. Begin by mastering Item No. 1 of the Basic Motion Pattern, the precision Grip of 10-2-B. Grip down on the dowel so that it runs about three-quarters of the way up your Left Forearm. Imitate the middle picture on page 137 of The Book and look, Look, LOOK to make sure you get it right. When you can assume the correct Grip automatically, then (and only then) proceed to Item No. 2, the Stance Line.
Use the dowel -- and only the dowel -- until you have acquired a conscious control of each Item in the Checklist. Remember, at no time are you permitted to make a Motion longer than two feet in both directions! You should practice your Basic Motion by swinging the dowel in a continuous back and through Motion -- back and through and back and through and back and through. When you can swing the dowel back and through continuously while correctly performing the first 21 items in the Stroke Pattern, use the last (No. 22), 'Closed Eyes Hand Education,' to completely capture the 'Feel' of your Basic Motion and to assign its control to your Hands.
When you can reproduce the Mechanics of your Basic Motion by Feel alone and with little conscious thought -- remember, One Day At A Time! -- you are permitted to replace the dowel with a Putter. However, you may not yet use a Ball. That's because the Putter has a Clubhead at the end of its Shaft, and for some reason unknown to Man, a Clubhead tends to 'flip' in the presence of a Ball.
So, you must first gain control of the Clubhead, and this, of course, means gaining control of your Hands. It is the only road out of Hackerville. Not until you can successfully perform the 22 items-- and especially Items 11, 12, 15, and 16 -- while continuously swinging the Putter back and through and back and through, are you permitted to use your Basic Motion to actually strike a Ball.
When you can strike the ball with the Putter with zero deviation in the procedures and alignments of the Program, especially in items 1, 11, 12, 13,15, 16, and 20, post or PM me to that effect. Meanwhile, post any questions -- about this Step One only! -- and we in your Support Group will respond. When you have satisfactorily completed this Step One, we will move on to Step Two and ultimately to Step Three of the Program.
But...you must remain in this First Stage of Recovery until you are truly ready. If you fail here, you will destroy any hope of a long-term cure for your G.O.L.F.-a-holism. Know that we are with you, Golf C., during these difficult early days. And that we are only a post away should you feel yourself slipping. Soon your old habits born of ignorance will be replaced by new ones based on Science and the Proven Principles of The Golfing Machine. All this will be yours if only you take it...
One day at a time!
What a post! I have a question for those that teach G.O.L.F for a living. I understand how important basic motion is. How realistic is this approach? Who among you follow the steps Homer prescribed? Are there any workable variations?
Linear Mode
