[Yoda]

I almost never watch TV. Some golf and golf channel programming upon occasion. Today a flu knocked me on my butt, and I stayed home. I put on the golf channel for background noise while I tried to sleep it off. I didn't have the slightest inkling of what I have been missing....

If I buy:

The Stancefinder
F2 wedges
The StrokeSaver Putter Grip
Medicus driver
Momentus Power Hitter
The Swing Machine DVD
The Rick Smith Golf Glove

...the aggregation of their guaranteed improvement (or similar results of their test subjects) will yield me....

drives of 355 yds down the middle and scores below 64.

I'm excited. I guess I don't have to work on assembling and refining swing components anymore.

Almost, Theodan.

Unfortunately, the above mentioned training aids will yield only a 68. For that 64, you must invest in the Sky Caddy, preferably with personal instruction from Peter Jacobson and Jim Hardy.

On second thought, forget those guys and just ask Natalie!

For insurance, you might as well hit up A.J. Bonar for The Secret, Roger Fredericks for a few stretching exercises and David Leadbetter for his Swingsetter.

Finally, make a few passes under the Swing Coach. It'll help your slice, and besides, Jack needs the money.